PRICE 26 CENTS 




Successful Rural Plays 

A Strong List From Which to Select Your 
Next Play 

FARM FOLKS. A Rural Play in Four Acts, by Arthur 
Lewis Tubbs. For five male and six female characters. Time 
of playing, two hours and a half. One simple exterior, two 
easy interior scenes. Costumes, modern. Flora Goodwin, a 
farmer's daughter, is engaged to Philip Burleigh, a young New 
Yorker. Philip's mother wants him to marry a society woman, 
and by falsehoods makes Flora believe Philip does not love her. 
Dave Weston, who wants Flora himself, helps the deception by 
intercepting a letter from Philip to Flora. She agrees to marry 
Dave, but on the eve of their marriage Dave confesses, Philip 
learns the truth, and he and Flora are reunited. It is a simple 
plot, but full of speeches and situations that sway an audience 
alternately to tears and to laughter. 

HOME TIES. A Rural Play in Four Acts, by Arthur 
Lewis Tubbs. Characters, four male, five female. Plays two 
hours and a half. Scene, a simple interior — same for all four 
acts. Costumes, modern. One of the strongest plays Mr. Tubbs 
has written. Martin Winn's wife left him when his daughter 
Ruth was a baby. Harold Vincent, the nephew and adopted son 
of the man who has wronged Martin, makes love to Ruth Winn. 
She is also loved by Len Everett, a prosperous young farmer. 
When Martin discovers who Harold is, he orders him to leave 
Ruth. Harold, who does not love sincerely, yields. Ruth dis- 
covers she loves Len, but thinks she has lost him also. Then 
he comes back, and Ruth finds her happiness. 

THE OLD NEW HAMPSHIRE HOME. A New 

England Drama in Three Acts, by Frank Dumont. For seven 
males and four females. Time, two hours and a half. Costumes, 
modern. A play with a strong heart interest and pathos, yet rich 
in humor. Easy to act and very effective. A rural drama of 
the "Old Homstead" and "Way Down East" type. Two ex- 
terior scenes, one interior, all easy to set. Full of strong sit- 
uations and delightfully humorous passages. The kind of a play 
everybody understands and likes. 

THE OLD DAIRY HOMESTEAD. A Rural Comedy 
in Three Acts, by Frank Dumont. For five males and four 
females. Time, two hours. Rural costumes. Scenes rural ex- 
terior and interior. An adventurer obtains a large sum of money 
from a farm house through the intimidation of the farmer's 
niece, whose husband he claims to be. Her escapes from the 
wiles of the villain and his female accomplice are both starting, 
and novel. 

A WHITE MOUNTAIN BOY. A Strong Melodrama in 
Five Acts, by Charles Townsend. For seven males and four 
females, and three supers. Time, two hours and twenty minutes. 
One exterior, three interiors. Costumes easy. The hero, a 
country lad, twice saves the life of a banker's daughter, which 
results in their betrothal. A scoundrelly clerk has the banker 
in his power, but the White Mountain boy finds a way to check- 
mate his schemes, saves the banker, and wins the girl. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

PHILADELPHIA 



68-70 Berkeley Place 

A Comedy in One Act 



By 
WHITNEY DARROW 

Author of "The Merediths Kritertain " 




PHILADELPHIA 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 
1922 






Copyright 1922 By The Penn Publishing Company 



©CI.D G325S 

68-70 Berkeley Place 



TMP92-009037 






68-70 Berkeley Place 



CAST OF CHARACTERS 

At 68 Berkeley Place : 

[ohn Graham, A New York business man who has 

never yrowti up 
Margaret Graham, His wife, who smilingly puts up 

with many things, including her husband 

Betty Graham Who takes after Dad 

Mary The maid 

At 70 Berkeley Place : 

Henry Coe, A New York business man who has never 

been young 
Dorothy Coe, With whom Henry has to get along 

somehow 
William Coe, Eighteen and home from college for his 

first summer vacation 
Marie Another maid 

Time of Playing:— About forty-five minutes. 
Costumes : — Modern. 



COSTUMES 

John Graham. A dark business suit. 

Margaret Graham. A cheerful morning dress. 

Betty Graham. Sport shoes, skirt and sweater. 

Mary. A dark dress, cap and apron. 

Henry Coe. A business suit. 

Dorothy Coe. An organdie dress, or something 
light and fluffy. Her hair should be elaborately 
dressed. 

William Coe. Flannel trousers, sneaks and 
sweater. 

Marie. A dark dress, cap and apron. 



PROPERTIES 



Vases of flowers on sideboards ; a dish of apples on 
each sideboard ; linen, silver, china, etc., on tables ; 
trays with dishes of shredded wheat, eggs and coffee 
for Mary and Marie; newspapers for Mrs. Graham 
and Mrs. Coe; water carafe for Mary; pasteboard tube 
to act as " Post-office " ; handkerchief for Betty ; sta- 
tionery for Mrs. Graham; cigar for Mr. Graham; 
tennis racquets for Betty and Bill ; hat and brief case 
for Mr. Graham ; hat for Mr. Coe. 



NOTICE TO PROFESSIONALS 

This play is published for the free use of strictly 
amateur companies only. Professional actors or or- 
ganizations wishing to produce it, in any form or 
under any title, are forbidden to do so without the 
consent of the author, who may be addressed in care 
of the publishers. 



68-7° Berkeley Place 



Time and Place 
A summer morning breakfast in most any suburb. 

The curtain rises disclosing adjacent dining-rooms of 
twin houses. Each has a dining-room table set for 
three. The sideboards are back to back with a thick 
partition wall separating them. The wall extends 
only part way to the front of the stage so that each 
room may be seen from both sides of the house. 
There are d is lies of fruit and vases of flowers on 
the sideboards, /it the back of each room is a 
Window near the partition. The shades are still 
drawn. At the back, just beyond the window, is a 
door to the street. At the extreme left and right 
is a door leading into the rest of the house. These 
dining-rooms are alike to the smallest detail. The 
two inside doors open at the same time and through 
each appears a maid. They are dressed in caps and 
aprons. They ore just alike. They must be twin 
maids. They walk about the dining-rooms doing the 
some filings at the same lime. They walk to the 
table and arrange the silver. A touch of color is 
needed, so the vase of flowers they thoughtfully 
place will not hide the sealed hreakfasters. A plate 
of appetising apples is brought from the sideboard 
to the table. Then to the window pulling up the 
shade. Three chairs are brought from different 
sides of the room. Back to the door. The maids 
survey the rooms. Breakfast is served. The maids 
leave. The dining-rooms are again empty. 

5 



68-7O BERKELEY PLACE 



(Margaret Graham enters the dining-room of No. 
68 from the left and takes her place at the table. 
She picks out the nicest apple and puts it on her 
husband's plate and then he comes.) 

Mr. Graham {saunters in leisurely, kisses Ids wife 
lightly on the hair and takes his place beside her). 
Margaret, what is the news this morning? 

(He unfolds his napkin and proceeds to cut his apple.) 

Mrs. Graham. I'm sorry, Jack. I did forget your 
paper. (Rings. Mary enters l.) Mary, will you go 
to the door and see if the Tribune is there yet? 

Mary. I think the boy just came, Mrs. Graham. 

(Mary goes to the door and gets the paper, giving it 
to Mr. Graham, but she can't resist glancing over 
the headlines as she brings it.) 

Mr. G. Don't you realize how I rely on my paper 
at breakfast? After all these years married what 
would we talk about if it wasn't for the paper? 

(He opens to the center of the paper at once and for 
the moment the apple is forgotten but Mrs. Graham 
seems to be enjoying hers until ) 

Mrs. G. After you have finished with the funnies 
and the baseball scores, will you turn and see if they 
are still having that sale of summer suits at Stern's ? 

Mr. G. Don't you realize, my dear, that a man's 
breakfast paper is supposed to free him of embarrass- 
ing interruptions and — er — financial touches? 

Mrs. G. I thought most men read the paper for 
the news. 

Mr. G. That's where you are wrong. We'll take 
that as the text of our morning lesson. My friends, 
the morning newspaper is to a man's breakfast what 
a competent private secretary tries to be for the rest 
of the day. 

(He puts the paper down by his plale and tries to cat 
and read at the same time.) 






68--7O BERKELEY PLACE 7 

Mrs. G. Why doesn't Betty come? That girl is at 
just the age where she has to primp an hour before 
breakfast. 

Mr G. (puts down his knife and goes to the door 
l.). I'll call her. Betty! Betty! Here Betty, Betty, 
Betty. (He returns to his place at the table.) 

Betty (from a distance). Meow, meow. All right, 
Dad, I'll be down in a sec. 

Mrs. G. You are as big a kid as she is. 
Mr G. And that kid is terribly interested in our 
landlord's son, one William Coe. With this house 
shortage, rather a good idea, eh? Used to be the idea 
to get the landlady's daughter if you wanted a second 
piece of pie. Henry's a pretty cold proposition but I 
ask you straight, Marge, could a man throw his son s 
father-in-law out of a house? 

Mrs. G. Talk sensibly, jack. They are still only 
children and Bill is just through his freshman year. 
Anyway I think Henry is a little worried over it and 
much annoyed. 

Mr. G. That's not because he doesn t like Betty. 
He is afraid he can't get us out of this house. 

Mrs. G. This house business is turning your head, 

Jack. 

Mr. G. Don't you realize that we are even now 
paying the purchase price of the house each year for 
rent ? And that grouch thinks he can get more. 

Mrs G Henry is very serious-minded. Dorothy 
is sillv about it, though. She is always saying it would 
be so 'romantic if Betty and Billy fell in love. 

Mr. G. There isn't much romance about Henry. 
If lie ever had any Dorothy drove it out years ago. 

Mrs. G. By the way, how do you like my new 
morning dress ? 

Mr G Fine. I'm glad you aren't one oi those 
Women who Tide in to breakfasl at the last minute in 
a mother hubbard or a kimono because onlv hus nn<i s 
here I always associate a kimono at the breakfast 
table somehow with a preference for silk hose with 
runs, to perfect lisle, 



8 68-7O BERKELEY PLACE 

Mrs. G. It seems to me you know more than is 
necessary about the details of women's wear. 

Mr. G. Well, for me, one attractive wife at the 
breakfast table is worth three at dinner. 

Mrs. G. Let's go ahead with breakfast. 

Mr. G. Oh, wait for Bet, she'll be right down. I 
have time and can read a minute. 

(He divides the paper with her and they read.) 

{Into the dining-room of No. 70 Dorothy Coe trips 
from the right, gaily humming to herself. She 
fusses with the flowers. She rearranges the silver. 
She moves her husband's chair nearer hers. She is 
still standing when her husband comes in with a 
business-like air and takes his place without a 
word. ) 

Henry Coe. Where's the paper? I can't lose time 
every morning waiting for it. 

(He takes an apple and starts to peel it.) 

Dorothy Coe (walks to the back of his chair and 
puts her arm about his neck and musses his hair and 
kisses it). You bad man. Can't you love your Doro- 
thy a little instead of reading the horrid paper? (She 
pats his cheek.) Oh, Henry, did you cut yourself 
shaving? 

Mr. C. (brushes her aside). No, of course not, you 
know I don't use a safety razor. Where's the paper? 

Mrs. C. I'll get it for you myself. (Goes to the 
door r. and gets the paper and, bringing it, holds it 
behind her back.) Upper hand or lower? 

Mr. C. .Say, this is a business man's breakfast and 
not a kindergarten class. 

Mrs. C. (hands him his paper). There is the paper 
for my nice boy. (She plays with his hair just to get 
him in a good humor and doesn't seem to understand 
why it doesn't.) Now won't you talk to me since I 
have done this for you ? 



68-7O BERKELEY PLACE 9 

Mr. C. I'll talk to you all right if you do anything 
more. Sit down and eat your apple. 

Mrs. C. (pouting). Oh, Henry, I don't want an 
apple. (Sits at table.) 

Mr. C. Don't keep saying "Oh, Henry." I'm not 
a short story writer. Eat your apple; (and seeing she 
is going to cry he softens a bit) you know an apple a 
day keeps the doctor away. 

Mrs. C. (coyly through her tears). Are you really 
jealous, Henry, just because I said I thought Dr. 
Brooks was awfully good looking? 

Mr. C. Don't be foolish. I was just quoting a say- 
ing I often hear among men on the train. 

Mrs. C. (still hoping he was jealous). I guess all 
commuting husbands are jealous, leaving their wives 
alone all day. 

Mr. C. Piffle ! Bill will be down in a minute and 
he has enough slush for one family. 

Mrs. C. I really think Will is in love. 

Mr. C. Don't call him Will. And he isn't in love. 

Mrs. C. Betty is such a lovely girl and it would 
be so romantic. 

Mr. C. That's no reason for me to support her too. 
Let's eat. (They eat.) 

(In No. 68.) 

Betty Graham (dances in looking very lovely). 
Isn't this a gorgeous day for tennis? I just adore it ! 

Mr. G. If you can't get any of the girls to play with 
you, perhaps / could stay and play a couple of sets. 

Mrs. G. Don't tease her, Jack. You know you 
won't play. 

Mr. ( i. But 1 may. Girls can't put up any kind of 
practice for her. 

MRS. < i. She may not have to play with girls. 

Mr G. You know I wouldn't think of allowing 
her to do anything else. She's just a child. 

Betty. Dad, you ancient relic, finish your fruit 
and can the dialogue. I'll start with cereal so as to 
catch up with you, 



10 68-7O BERKELEY PLACE 

Mrs. G. (rings). Mary, please bring the cereal. 

(Mary enters l.) 
Mary. What cereal will you have, Mr. Graham? 

(In No. 70 Marie has been summoned and has taken 
the fruit plates.) 

Mrs. Coe. Marie, tell Mr. Coe what cereals we 
have. (Like a two-part song they recite.) 

Mary. Cornflakes. 

Marie. Post Toasties. 

Mary. Shredded Wheat. 

Marie. Grape Nuts. 

Mary. Post Toasties. 

Marie. Corn Flakes. 

Mary. Purled Rice. 

Marie. Shredded Wheat. 

Mary. Puffed Wheat. 

Marie. Bran. (Mr. Coe shivers.) 

Mary. Grape Nuts. 

Marie. Puffed Rice. 

(In No. 70.) 

Mr. Coe. Shredded Wheat, Marie. 

(And lie goes back to his paper.) 

(In No. 68.) 

Mr. G. Shredded Wheat, Mary. 
Betty. Mother, what's the use of Mary's reciting 
her little piece every morning for Dad? He always 
says shredded wheat. I'll bet, Dad, at lunch you al- 
ways insist on the whole tray of French pastry being 
brought and then you point and say " FH take that " 
and it's always the chocolate eclair. 
(Mary and Marie bring shredded wheat for all, al- 
though Father was the only one asked what he would 
have. They eat.) 

(In No. 70.) 



68-7O BERKELEY PLACE H 

Mrs. C. Please hurry, Henry dear. I'm sure you'll 
be late. 

Mr. C. (from a mouthful of shredded wheat). 
Never been late yet. 

Mrs. C. Shouldn't you start soon ? 

Mr. C. It isn't when you leave for the train that 
counts. It's when you get there. 

Mrs. C. Some day you'll try and get on the train 
when it's moving and fall and 

Mr. C. Forget it. I carry accident insurance, don't 
•I? What's the use in paying the premium for years if 
you never take chances. {Thunders.) Where's Bill? 
(Calls.) Bill! 

Bill. Coming, Dad. (He enters, r.) I didn't 
know breakfast was ready. 

Mr. C. You don't need fruit. Eat your cereal and 
you may get through when we do. 

Mrs. C. I want Will 

Mr. C. Bill. 
^ Mrs. C. I want Bill to eat a nice big breakfast. 
Growing boys need it. 

Mr. C. In the summer when I was his age I was 
out with a dinner pail at 6.30. 

Mrs. C. Yes, and Bill, look at your father now. 

(Bill has to cover his face with his napkin to conceal 
his emotions.) 

Mr. C. Well, what's the matter with me? 

Bill (raises his hand as in school). Shall I answer, 
Father ? 

Mr. C. I'm talking to your mother. 

Mrs. C. My dear, I only meant you seem always 
tired. 

Mr. C. Who wouldn't be with what I have to 
stand ? 

Mrs. C. I know your work is hard. 

Mr. C. 1 am not alluding to work. Oh, what's the 
use! ((iocs hark i<> his paper.) 

Mrs. C. Bill, there's your shredded wheat 

BILL. Wheat, did you say? 



12 68-/0 BERKELEY PLACE 

Mr. C. (looks over the top of his paper). I once 
knew another young man who made puns for break- 
fast. 

Mrs. C. (excitedly) . Oh, tell us about him. What 
happened to him? 

Mr. C. Nothing, only he's still tending furnaces. 

(Bill and Mrs. Coe are subdued for a while and at- 
tend to their shredded wheat, eating slowly. They 
talk in undertones during the following.) 

(In No. 68.) 

Mr. G. Margaret, ask Mary to bring me another 
sjlass of water and make it cold. 



Mrs. G. You seem unusually thirsty. (Rings.) 



(Mary enters and at a word from Mrs. Graham re- 
plenishes Mr. Graham's glass.) 

Betty. Haven't you been married enough years, 
Mother, to know that when a man drinks lots of ice- 
water for breakfast you should never ask why he's 
thirsty — just keep his glass filled? 

Mr. G. I guess, Marge, that mothers to-day will 
have to sit at the feet of their daughters for instruc- 
tions in what a mother should know. 

Betty. Yes, Mother, there are scads of things you 
should know which I will explain when you are a bit 
older. 

Mr. G. That reminds me. Betty, will you go up- 
stairs and get me a handkerchief? You will find one 
in the top drawer of my chiffonier. 

Betty. You know, Dad, service is our motto. 

(She rises, clicks her heels together, salutes and 
inarches away, off l. ) 

Mr. G. I sent her out on purpose. There is some- 
thing funny going on. I meant to look around before 
she came down but forgot. 

Mrs. G. (frightened). Whal do you mean, Jack? 



68-7° BERKELEY PLACE Ij 

Mr. G. It's nothing serious. (He gets up and, 
still with his napkin in his hands, walks slowly up and 
doivn the side of the room where the sideboard is, 
looking at the floor, wall and ceiling, all the while 
talking.) It's about this room. I caught Betty here 
last evening feeling around the wall. She blushed 
terribly when I came in and I knew she was up to 
some prank. {He leans down and carefully looks at 
a spot on the wall about two feet from the floor and 
in front of the sideboard.) Hello, what's this? It 
looks like a patch. 

Mrs. G. (comes to his side and kneels and looks at 
the spot). It's a piece of new paper but it's like the 
old. 

Mr. G. (picks at it and draws out a pasteboard 
tube). On this end someone has pasted a flat card 
and put over it wall paper so it wouldn't be noticed. 
There's a paper in the tube. (Laughs heartily.) I see 
it all, Marge. This is Bill Coe's idea. This is Betty's 
and Bill's post-office. 

Mrs. G. Quick. Put it back. Betty is coming. 

(Goes back to her place at the table and rings for 
Mary.) 

Mr. G. (puts tube back in place and covers it up 
hut keeps the note. He glances at it as he gets back 
to his place at the table and chuckles). Here's where 
we have some fun with Bill. After a while send Betty 
for something and I'll read the note to you and tell 
you what we will do. 

(/;/ No. 70.) 

Mrs. C. (rings. Marie enters r.). Marie, take the 
cereal dishes and bring the eggs. Better bring the 
coffee first. I will pour it. 

(In No. 68.) 

Bl 1 iv (enters l.). Here's your handkerchief. Any 
other service T can render the elderly gentleman? 



14 68-7O BERKELEY PLACE 

Mr. G. None, except to sit down and be quiet 
while I read and sip my coffee. (Betty sits.) 
Mrs. G. I have rung; it will be right here. 

(In Nos. 68 and Jo Mary and Marie bring in pots of 
coffee and then go back to the kitchen for boiled 
eggs which they place on the table, and then retire.) 

(In No. 70.) 

Mrs. C. I have to be so careful about your coffee, 
dear. I never let anyone else pour it. I know just 
how much cream you like, don't I, dear? 

Mr. C. Don't you know that more business deals 
have been spoiled by a poor cup of breakfast coffee 
than by any lack of ability? 

Bill. You'd better rely on coffee, Dad. 

Mr. C. Is that the way they teach you to talk at 
college ? 

Bill. That's heredity. 

Mr. C. I have a mind to take you out of college 
and put you to work. 

Mrs. C. Really, you wouldn't think of that, Henry? 
Will, I mean Bill, will be on the Glee Club next year 
and he's on the Sophomore Dance Committee. Think 
what that will mean ! 

Mr. C. I guess you are right. He must have that 
to be a successful business man. It's the reason I 
haven't do*e better. It's so unfortunate. I can neither 
sing nor dance. Rot ! 

(Reads the paper while he eats his eggs and drinks his 
coffee.) 

(In No. 68.) 

Mrs. G. I hate to trouble you, Betty, but would 
you mind running upstairs and tying the laundry up? 
The man will be here before we finish breakfast and 
he won't wait. 

Betty. Certainly, Mother. 

(She skips away, off l., singing.) 






68-7O BERKELEY PLACE 15 

Mr. G. Now for the dirty work. First listen to 
this. (Takes the note from his pocket and reads it 
aloud.) " Darling — Isn't this fun right under the 
eyes of the Old Folks at Home? Aren't they the 
stupid ones ? Let's make a bigger hole and I will crawl 
through myself. Remember — at the Club at eight for 
tennis. Love and kisses. Bill. P. S. I may not go 
back to college. If not, we'll get married. Are you 
game? I haven't any money but Dad has plenty." 
Oh, boy ! he left the barn doors open and he can't 
blame me for driving in. Got any paper? 

Mrs. G. There's some here on the sideboard. 

(Gets paper from sideboard, brings it to him and 
stands at his side watching him as he writes.) 

Mr. G. (reads as he writes). How's this? "Bill 
dear — Glad to get this direct information that Dad 
has plenty of money. Get him to pay me the five he 
borrowed last month. Go ahead, make the hole bigger. 
It's his house, not mine you are tearing down. When 
the opening is large enough we'll crawl through and 
let Dad support us all. But nix on the marriage stuff. 
It's enough to have to live in the same house with you. 
It may be fun under the eyes of the Old Folks at 
Home, but cut it out, Kid, or you'll be singing Way 
Down Upon the Sewanee River. One of the Stupid 
Ones. P. S. By the way, Bill, you may be a college 
student but I am a college graduate. Try someone 
else next time.'' 

Mrs. G. (goes hack to Jicr place at the tabic and 
sits). That's sort of rough on him. 

Mr. (J. In the mail box it goes. I'd like to see our 
village cut-up when he reads that. 

(He puts it in the tube and goes back to his chair.) 

(In No. fO.) 

( Mr. COE is still reading his paper. Marie enters R.) 

Marte. If you please, ma'am, the grocery man is 

here. 



l6 68-70 BERKELEY PLACE 

(Mrs. Coe rises and exits r. Marie follows her, 
leaving Bill and Mr. Coe alone. Bill gets up, 
stretches, walks back and forth whistling very loiv 
and playing with his pencil He gives his father a 
glance. Then he drops his pencil just in front of 
the "post-office/' stoops to get it and takes advan- 
tage of the time to raise the flap of wall paper, put 
his fingers in the tube and draw out what he thinks 
will be a nice love note in answer to his. Mr. Coe 
begins to take an interest in what is going on. Mr. 
Coe jumps up and grabs the note from Bill before 
Bill knows what has happened. Then Mr. Coe 
kneels down to inspect things for himself just as Mr. 
Graham decided to see what has happened to his 
note, with the result that both stick their eyes to 
the opening at the same instant and as quickly each 
replaces his flap of wall paper and jumps up ejacu- 
lating "Damn!" 

{In No. 68 Mr. Graham had just gone to take his look 
through the mail box, but, while he was caught by 
Mr. Coe, he got back to his place again without 
Betty's knowing he had discovered her secret. 
Betty enters r. and takes her place at the table and 
resumes her breakfast.) 

(In No. 70 Henry Cov reads the note aloud as Mrs. 
Coe enters r.) 

Mrs. C. (pausing to listen). Why, Henry, what is 
it you are reading? 

Mr. C. (stamping up and down the room). Our 
little boy has been trying to carry on his love affairs 
by tearing out the walls of my house and installing a 
post-office and the young lady's father, who seems 
about the age of our son, has tapped the wires and 
n °™r the y° un g man's father is going to take a hand. 

Mrs. C. (agitated). You aren't goinq- to spank him, 
Henry ? 

Mr. C. Spanking would be too light. 
Bill (laughing). I am afraid it would. 



68-70 BERKELEY PLACE 17 

Mr. C. (shaking his finger under Hill's nose). Re- 
member, you are my son and under my roof and not 
yet of age.^ You will do as I say. I will make you 
ashamed of what you have done. You will stay in 
your room at the far side of the house for a few days, 
favoring us with your presence only at meals. 

Mrs. C. Can't he finish his breakfast? 

Mr. C. Yes, he can finish it and then go. Perhaps 
it will give him a chance to develop his long neglected 
mind. 

Bill. But I have a very important tennis engage- 
ment at the Club. 

Mr. C. Someone else can keep it then — not vou. 
Eat! 

(Mr. Coe resumes his paper and reads scowling. Mrs. 
Coe sits at table and looks sadly at her boy.) 

(Meanwhile in No. 68.) 

Mr. G. Another cup of coffee, Marge, with my 
cigar, please. I have just a few minutes left. 

Mrs. G. (pouring coffee). You shouldn't drink so 
much coffee, should you, Jack? You'll be sick eating 
the way you do. 

Mr. G. Don't ever imagine the family need worry 
about buying flowers to put on Father as long as he 
feels like a cigar after breakfast. 

Betty. I like to see Dad enjoy his breakfast smoke. 
He's so much more amiable. 

Mrs. G. I don't think Mr. Coe ever smokes until 
after dinner. 

Betty. He acts as though he didn't. He never 
smiles. 

Mr. G. That gives me an inspiration. I guess I'll 
mail him a cigar and see if I can make him smile. 

(Goes to wall and takes out the lube and puts a cigar 
in it.) 

Betty (aghast). Dad! That's mean. How long 
have you known of this ? 



iS 68-70 BERKELEY PLACE 

Mr. G. Oh, Bill and I carry on a regular corre- 
spondence this way. He calls me Darling and I say 
lovely things to him. 

Betty. But it was just for fun, Dad. Bill had 
one of these at college between his room and the next. 

Mr. G. Don't worry. I don't mind, but I guess 
Henry Coe will have difficulty seeing the humor of it 
and he wouldn't like all the walls knocked out just 
because you two want to play post-office. We used to 
play that but didn't tear down nouses. Maybe the cigar 
will cheer him up. 

(He writes a note in his note-book, tears it out and 
wraps it around the cigar in the tube and puts it 
back in place and then knocks on the wall.) 

(In No. 70.) 

Mr. C. Now what's up? (Raps are repeated.) 
Must be another message for Bill. (He raises the 
flap and looking in pulls out the cigar and the mes- 
sage. With the cigar in one hand he holds the note 
in the other and reads it over very solemnly and then 
a broad grin creeps over his face. Still grinning he 
puts the cigar in his mouth and lights it. Mrs. Coe 
and Bill stand and gaze in astonishment and then he 
reads aloud his note.) Listen! I found this in the 
post-office. " It does seem awfully long ago, but you 
and I were young once, Henry. Let's smoke on the 
way to the train and talk it over. Meet you outside. 
Jack." Bill, forget about going to your room. Better 
keep your engagement at the club. (Bill jumps and 
gets his racquet which leans against the wall, kisses 
his mother and starts to the door r.) And, Bill! 

Bill (pausing in doorway). Yes, Father. 

Mr. C. I suppose when I get back to-night in some 
mysterious way this wall will have been repaired ? 

Bill. Yes, Father. 

(Exit r.) 

Mr. C. I am going to get my hat. I'll be right 
back. 






68-70 BERKELEY TLACE 19 

(Exits r. <l whistle is heard and is answered by) 
(In No. OS.) 

Betty. I must run. Some of the girls said they 
would be at the club early. 

Mr. G. Give my love to " the girls," Betty. 

Betty (raps Mr. Graham on the head with her 
racquet). Dad, you are an old fraud but I love you 
just the same. 

(She kisses him and her mother and runs out l.) 

Mr. G. (gets his hat and brief case from the other 
room and comes hack. At the door he stops and 
turns). Marge, how about inviting Bill in to dinner 
to-night so as to show there's no hard feelings. 

Mrs. G. I will, Jack. They are still but children 
and will have to work their own way out. 

Mr. G. We did, didn't we ? 

Mrs. G. Yes, Jack, and we are still happy. 

(She kisses him.) 

Mr. G. Good-bye. I mustn't keep Henry waiting. 

Mrs. G. (rises'). I will go to the window and watch 
you leave. 

Mr. G. And don't overlook the smile a morning 
smoke can bring even to Henry. 

(Exits r. Mrs. Graham goes to window.) 

(In No. /(>.) 

(Mr. Coe returns to the dining-room with his hat and 
picks up the paper and comes to Mrs. Coe to say 
good-bye.) 

Mrs. C. Wasn't that romantic in Bill? 
Mr. C. Romantic nothing! 

Mrs. C. He's just as you were at that age. Re- 
member we were engaged when we were eighteen? 
Mr C. Did I act thai way? 
Mrs. C. Henry, you used to write one every day 



20 68-7O BERKELEY PLACE 

even though you were to see me in the evening. 
Lunch notes you called them. 

Mr. C. Well, I lived through it; maybe they can. 
(He kisses her and smiles and puts his hand on her 
shoulder.) Don't mind me. Maybe all I needed was a 
smoke. Jack's a good fellow. We'll have to have 
them for dinner. Betty too. Must hurry now; it's 
late and I don't want to keep Jack waiting. Good-bye, 
Dorothy. 

Mrs. C. By the way, Henry, won't you run into 
McCreery's for me to-day and get me some silk? I 
have a sample up-stairs I want matched. I will have 
it in just a minute. (As she puts down her napkin 
and rises, Mr. Coe stealthily slips behind her and exits 
hastily r.) Why, Henry! Henry! (Henry has gone. 
She turns and gazes at the floor. ) He has gone. He 
loafs for an hour. I keep urging him to hurry and 
then just the minute I ask him to do something he has 
to run. Now isn't that just like a man? 

(She goes to the window and waves.) 

(The curtain falls as Margaret and Dorothy qre 
standing at their windows zvatching their men hurry 
to their train arm in arm and with smiles on their 
faces. ) 



CURTAIN 



Unusually Good Entertainments 

Read One or More of These Before Deciding on 
Your Next Program 

A SURPRISE PARTY AT BRINKLEY'S. An En- 
tertainment in One Scene, by Ward Macauley. Seven male and 
seven female characters. Interior scene, or may be given with- 
out scenery. Costumes, modern. Time, one hour. By the 
author of the popular successes, "Graduation Day at Wood Hilll 
'School," "Back to the Country Store," etc. The villagers have 
planned a birthday surprise party for Mary Brinkley, recently 
graduated from college. They all join in jolly games, songs, 
Conundrums, etc., and Mary becomes engaged, which surprises 
the surprisers. The entertainment is a sure success. 

JONES VS. JINKS. A Mock Trial in One Act, by 
Edward Mumford. Fifteen male and six female characters, with 
supernumeraries if desired. May be played all male. Many of the 
parts (members of the jury, etc.) are small. Scene, a simple 
interior ; may be played without scenery. Costumes, modern. 
Time of playing, one hour. This mock trial has many novel 
features, unusual characters and quick action. Nearly every 
character has a funny entrance and laughable lines. There are 
many rich parts, and fast fun throughout. 

THE SIGHT-SEEING CAR. A Comedy Sketch in One 
Act, by Ernest M. Gould. For seven males, tjvo females, or 
may be all male. Parts may be doubled, with quick changes, so 
that four persons may play the sketch. Time, forty-five minutes. 
Simple street scene. Costumes, modern. The superintendent 
of a sight-seeing automobile engages two men to run the 
machine. A Jew, a farmer, a fat lady and other humorous 
characters give them all kinds of trouble. This is a regular gat- 
ling-gun stream of rollicking repartee. 

THE CASE OF SMYTHE VS. SMITH. An Original 
Mock Trial in One Act, by Frank Dumont. Eighteen males 
and two females, or may be all male. Plays about one hour. 
Scene, a county courtroom ; requires no scenery ; may be played 
in an ordinary hall. Costumes, modern. This entertainment is 
nearly perfect of its kind, and a sure success. It can be easily 
produced in any place or on any occasion, and provides almost 
any number of good parts. 

THE OLD MAIDS' ASSOCIATION. A Farcical Enter- 
tainment in One Act, by Louise Latham Wilson. For thirteen 
females and one male. The male part may be played by a 
female, and the number of characters increased to twenty or# 
more. Time, forty minutes. The play requires neither sceneryj 
nor properties, and very little in the way of costumes. Can* 
easily be prepared in one or two rehearsals. i 

1 BARGAIN DAY AT BLOOMSTEIN'S. A Farcical 
Entertainment in One Act, by Edward Mumford. For five males 
and ten females, with supers. Interior scene. Costumes, mod- 
ern. Time, thirty minutes. The characters and the situations 
which arise from th<-ir endeavors to buy and sell make rapid-fire 
fun from start to finish. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

PHILADELPHIA 



Unusually Good Entertainments 

Read One or More of These Before Deciding on 
Your Next Program 

GRADUATION DAY AT WOOD HILL SCHOOL. 

An Entertainment in Two Acts, by Ward Macauley. For six 
males and four females, with several minor parts. Time of 
playing, two hours. Modern costumes. Simple interior scenes, 
may be presented in a hall without scenery. The unusual com* 
bination of a real "entertainment," including music, recitations, 
etc., with an interesting love story. The graduation exercises 
include short speeches, recitations, songs, funny interruptions, 
and a comical speech by a country school trustee. 

EXAMINATION DAY AT WOOD HILL SCHOOL. 

An Entertainment in One Act, by Ward Macauley. Eight male 
and six female characters, with minor parts. Plays one hour. 
Scene, an easy interior, or may be given without scenery. Cos- 
tumes, modern. Miss Marks, the teacher, refuses to marry a 
trustee, who threatens to discharge her. The examination in- 
cludes recitations and songs, and brings out many funny answers 
to questions. At the close Robert Coleman, an old lover, claims 
the teacher. Very easy and very effective. 

BACK TO THE COUNTRY STORE. A Rural Enter- 
tainment in Three Acts, by Ward Macauley. For four male 
and five female characters, with some supers. Time, two hours. 
Two scenes, both easy interiors. Can be played effectively with- 
out scenery. Costumes, modern. All the principal parts are 
sure hits. Quigley Higginbotham, known as "Quig," a clerk in 
a country store, aspires to be a great author or singer and 
decides to try his fortunes in New York. The last scene is in 
Quig's home. He returns a failure but is offered a partnership 
in the country store. He pops the question in the midst of a 
surprise party given in his honor. Easy to do and very funny. 

THE DISTRICT CONVENTION. A Farcical Sketch 
in One Act, by Frank Dumont. For eleven males and one 
female, or twelve males. Any number of other parts or super- 
numeraries may be added. Plays forty-five minutes. No special 
Scenery is required, and the costumes and properties are all 
easy. The play shows an uproarious political nominating con- 
vention. The climax comes when a woman's rights cham- 
pion, captures the convention. There is a great chance to bur- 
lesque modern politics and to work in local gags. Every 
part will make a hit. 

SI SLOCUM'S COUNTRY STORE. An Entertainment 
in One Act, by Frank Dumont. Eleven male and five female 
characters with supernumeraries. Several parts may be doubled. 
Plays one hour. Inter'or scene, or may be played without set 
scenery. Costumes, modern. The rehearsal for an entertain- 
ment in the village church gives plenty of opportunity foi 
specialty work. A very jolly entertainment of the sort adapted 
to almost any place or occasion. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

PHILADELPHIA 



Successful Plays for All Girls 

In Selecting Your Next Play Do Not Overlook This List 

YOUNG DOCTOR DEVINE. A Farce in Two Acts, 
by Mrs. E. J. H. Goodfellow. One of the most popular 
plays for girls. For nine female characters. Time in 
playing, thirty minutes. Scenery, ordinary interior. Mod- 
ern costumes. Girls in a boarding-school, learning that a 
young doctor is coming to vaccinate all the pupils, eagerly con- 
sult each other as to the manner of fascinating the physician. 
When the doctor appears upon the scene the pupils discover that 
the physician is a female practitioner. 

SISTER MASONS. A Burlesque in One Act, by Frank 
Dumont. For eleven females. Time, thirty minutes. Costumes, 
fantastic gowns, or dominoes. Scene, interior. A grand expose 
of Masonry. Some women profess to learn the secrets of a 
Masonic lodge by hearing their husbands talk in their sleep, 
and they institute a similar organization. 

A COMMANDING POSITION. A Farcical Enter- 
tainment, by Amelia Sanford. For seven female char- 
acters and ten or more other ladies and children. Time, one 
hour. Costumes, modern. Scenes, easy interiors and one street 
scene. Marian Young gets tired living with her aunt, Miss 
Skinflint. She decides to "attain a commanding position." 
Marian tries hospital nursing, college settlement work and 
school teaching, but decides to- go. back to housework. 



HOW A WOMAN KEEPS A SECRET. A Comedy 
in One Act, by Frank Dumqnt. - ^For ten female characters. 
Time, half an hour. Scene, an easy .interior. Costumes, modern. 
Mabel Sweetly has just become engaged to Harold, but it's "the 
deepest kind of a secret." Before announcing it they must win 
the approval of Harold's uncle, now in Europe, or lose a possible 
ten thousand a year. At a tea Mabel meets her dearest friend. 
Maude sees Mabel has a secret, she coaxes and Mabel tells her. 
But Maude lets out the secret in a few minutes to another 
friend and so the secret travels. 

THE OXFORD AFFAIR. A Comedy in Three Acts, 
by Josephine H. Cobb and Jennie E. Paine. For eight female 
characters. Plays one hour and three-quarters. Scenes, inter- 
iors at a seaside hotel. Costumes, modern. The action of the 
play is located at a summer resort. Alice Graham, in order to 
chaperon herself, poses as a widow, and Miss Oxford first claims 
her as a sister-in-law, then denounces her. The onerous duties 
of Miss Oxford, who attempts to serve as chaperon to Miss 
Howe and Miss Ashton in the face of many obstacles, furnish 
an evening of rare enjoyment. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

PHILADELPHIA 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

016 102 929 4 

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40)2 Chestnut Street Philadelphia 



